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"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly."Oh, and the views and opinions expressed on this blog are solely my own and in no way represent the views or opinions of my employer.
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About
"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly."Following
Well, I wasn’t running…and I didn’t have scissors…but haste and carelessness landed me on my ass this morning. After a weekend of spring cleaning, I had a bunch of garbage for the “convenience center”, aka “the dump”. It got a bit of a makeover about a month ago and now it’s a convenience center. I guess when you get a squishing machine instead of dumpsters and a new port-a-john for the dump guy since the privacy the dumpsters provided are gone, it becomes a convenience center. I digress…
So, I’m schlepping the garbage down the front steps. The dew mixed with the grass clippings I was supposed to sweep off the steps yesterday conspired against me and, in the words of my very southern friend Martha, I “took a tumble”. It was only two steps, but gravity, being the bitch she is, sucked me to the ground with a thud..and a crack. I prayed it was the step that cracked and as I sat on the ground contemplating my next move, I began to feel the familiar dull ache and burning sensation down my right leg. From years of being enormously overweight, I have a herniated disc in my back and stupid things, like falling down the steps or picking up a towel from the floor, or sneezing, can cause me great pain. I managed to drag myself up the steps and immediately took some ibuprofen, grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and now I’m sitting here on the bed with my back on ice, praying this isn’t “the big one”. Back surgery frightens me…that’s your spine they’re poking around on for God’s sake! The last time this happened, the doctor told me it was a real possibility. So here’s the deal…if I put this in writing, maybe it’ll inspire me later…if I can avoid the ortho clinic this time, I AM GETTING OFF MY ASS AND MAKING BACK MUSCLES. It makes sense. If you build muscles around a weak area so that some of the pressure is taken off that area, you stand a better chance of avoiding injury. I just don’t think about that much when I’m not sitting here in agony contemplating the threat of a scalpel opening up my spinal column to STAPH. More ibuprofen…aarrgh.
Wow. This makes me smile.
Less than two weeks left in this semester…as usual, I’ve put off most everything and now it’s on top of me. It’s unfortunate, but I generally do my best work under pressure. If I work on something for a long time, I edit and change and correct until it ends up unoriginal and mediocre. Second-guessing and self-doubt are traits that have crept up on me and I LOATHE those feelings.
Still feeling Edna St. Vincent Millay—“My candle burns at both ends; it will not last the night. But ah, my foes and oh, my friends, it gives a lovely light!”
The Easter Bunny came to visit. Candy anyone?
One of my Facebook friends tried to commit suicide on Thursday. We were never close during our college years back in the 90’s, but it’s hard to phathom that kind of desperation. One of her friends has been updating her Facebook page with information about her condition and such. Of course a lot of people are posting promises to pray and to be there for her when she comes home, but where were they before? At least five people said they lived just down the street. Her home, the only home she’s ever known, is apparently a disaster area, about to be auctioned for back taxes. Did no one think to knock on the door and say hi or reach out to her and offer to help with some of the home maintenance? Nope. Instead they wait until she’s in such a state that she’s had to be hospitalized to come out of the woodwork all concerned and offering to do anything to help. Cynical me is not impressed with this outpouring of “Christian Love”.
So last night after work, I came home and went directly to bed, head pounding, stomach queasy, no appetite (this rarely happens and usually indicates there is some serious malady going down). I woke up this morning feeling pretty much the same way, but I persevered. By the time I got to the store, I was pretty much cross-eyed, but managed to get through my first session. I left after that, convinced my head might explode. I haven’t had migraines in years. My brain has been running at full capacity lately…between work tests and school projects there hasn’t been much time for anything else. I really shouldn’t be typing this, but I think part of the problem is lack of a creative outlet. So this is my first post. Nothing too fancy, just a little rambling…
I often get the feeling I’m falling, but tumbling has a nicer ring to it…let the tumbling begin!
